i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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