You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
