Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
