And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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