Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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