There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize