my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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