im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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