Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
