You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Randomize
