everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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