It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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