Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Drunk walkin through police station. America
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
That accounts for only three of the penises
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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