I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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