I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
