There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
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