I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
