why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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