I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
