it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
