Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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