Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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