Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
