He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
