Non-Jews are for practice
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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