So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Randomize
