Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
