If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
