No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
