I wannas sexs uuuuu
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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