my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
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