just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
