margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
