What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize