yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
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I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
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The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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