You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
