I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
it was like having sex with a tree stump
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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