I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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