Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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