oh god the rape fog is back!
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
