found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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