jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
