i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
