Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
