I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
