ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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