i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
