our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Randomize
