yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
