He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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