How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
