what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
The dick lei will go down in squad history
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
