he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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