yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
