i already hear my dad disowning me
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm sobbing to NWA
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
