Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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