butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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