i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
