We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Randomize
