after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy