My first STD was from a foam party
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice