they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?