One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
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I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
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I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin