Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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